Tag Archives: mother’s wisdom

Posted on

Wait To Worry: Procrastination at Its Best

Don’t ask me how I got this way, but I just don’t struggle with worry. I know it’s a gift and I am eternally grateful for it. I don’t struggle with fear. My mind doesn’t immediately run to the “worst case scenario.”

Maybe it’s because my folks weren’t big worriers. I grew up in a family with a lot of love and a lot of security. (What a gift to give to your kids!) My folks had a great trust-relationship with God and they with each other. I just didn’t learn to worry.

Whenever there was real cause to worry, the worst-case rarely came to pass. In fact, I’m not sure it ever really did. Not the WORST case.

Sadly, there are people in my life for whom worry is their besetting sin—is it a sin? You may struggle with this.

I wish I could take it away for you. Worry is so destructive. It creates all kinds of problems. It wreaks havoc on our health causing headaches, skin rashes, back pain, digestive disorders, insomnia, dental problems, high blood pressure, just to name a few. It also effects relationships, makes people fearful, anxious, and irritable. It effects one’s ability to trust.

As a mom, when my girls go to a place of worry, I do the only thing I know to do. Since I can’t take it from them, I encourage them to “wait to worry.” Just postpone it. This is procrastination at its best.

“Wait to worry” has become one of my own mother’s modus operandi. The implied message is, “You may have very good reason to worry. The worst-case may indeed come to pass. But … not today. Just wait to worry. There’s plenty of time for that. But not right now. Just wait to worry.”

“But Mom, what if I don’t get that job?”
—Wait to worry.
“Mom, what if we can’t pay our electric bill?”
—Wait to worry.
“What if her fever doesn’t go away?”
—Wait to worry.
“What if this medicine doesn’t work?”
“What if he doesn’t ever call me again?”
“What if she won’t listen to me?”
“What if …”
“What if …”

Wait to worry.

Worry tomorrow, but not today.

Question: Have you ever been glad you waited to worry?

Posted on

A Mother’s Modus Operandi: “Bloom Where You Are Planted.”

Potted flowers Bloom where you are planted“Bloom Where You Are Planted.” This one phrase encapsulates the philosophy by which my mother lived. She and my dad moved 28 times during their 61 years of marriage—and I’m talking different cities, different states, different countries. My oldest brother, bore the brunt of it. I remember him telling me that he went to four different high schools.

Somewhere, early on, she adopted this modus operandi. As soon—and I mean THE VERY DAY the truck unloaded—as soon as the doors to the new house opened, boxes were unpacked, beds were made, pictures quickly hung in their spots and a roast would be in the oven. I kid you not. Next up, her mission was to meet the neighbors, find a church, a bridge club and a garden club to join. Goal: Get planted. Then bloom.

Somewhere, early on, I adopted this modus operandi. And I didn’t even realize it.

A mother’s words and a mother’s modus operandi are very powerful. I attribute my love for adventure, my ease in making new friends, and my flexibility to my mother. She passed this invaluable approach to life on to me, her only daughter. I miss her.

I’m a mother, too. And I am the mother of a daughter. To be exact I am the mother to FIVE daughters. You heard that right. FIVE. No boys in the bunch. And I had no sisters. Only four brothers. (I learned how to throw a mean football, but couldn’t lace together a bow for the life of me. God has a sense of humor to be sure.) My girls are all adults now. What have I passed on to them?

A mother’s words and a mother’s modus operandi are very powerful. They are passed down whether we acknowledge it or not. We’re doing it all the time. My mom passed on other lessons to me as as well—both in word and in deed. Here are a few more:

Let’s cross that bridge when we get to it. (Don’t worry)
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. (Don’t give up)
Don’t cry over spilt milk (Keep things in perspective)
If the shoe fits, wear it. (If it applies, accept the truth)
You made your bed, now sleep in it. (Take responsibility)
Make hay while the sun shines. (Do it now)
A watched pot never boils (Be patient)

You’ve, no doubt heard these yourself and seen someone model them. They date my mom, don’t they? I’m sure you have a list of your own, from your own parentals.

Now the question becomes, “What are the quippy little proverbs and phrases that my girls will quote after I’m gone?” Just asking that question causes a flood of phrases to enter my mind. I want to capture them. I want to write them down, wrap them up and give to my girls to “take home,”  to put in their treasure chests of memories. I want to be intentional about this. I want to replace the negative and destructive ones, they’ve no doubt picked up over the years, with ones that ring of real wisdom and are worthy to be passed on to their kids. … In the next several posts, I’m going to do exactly that.

QUESTION: What are the quippy little proverbs and phrases that your kids, or grandkids, nieces or nephews, students, or other children in your life, will quote after you’re gone?