No Time for Drama

One thing I’m loving about being with my family this week is the lack of DRAMA.

There has been no walking on egg shells. No whispers behind someone’s back. We’re just there, looking at our feet and being present, loving and appreciating each other. Laughing, crying, hugging (my personal favorite), cooking, eating, cleaning, debating, sparring, eating, expressing, listening, reminiscing, more eating (what is it with the eating?) and most of all seeking to understand. I love it.

It hasn’t always been this way, and thankfully over the years, and through lots of pain, we’ve chipped away at the superfluous and been left with the gems of each other.

I’d say, it’s also been intentional. Believe me, there has been plenty of drama in my family and it still creeps up every now and then. But now it seems that we’re all intent on growing and changing and allowing each other to grow and change. We don’t “freeze-frame” each other any more, binding each other to some less-than-desirable stage of our past.

Yesterday, as my brother Karl was packing up to go back to Denver, he commented that he was now my biggest brother. I’ve lost two of my brothers and someday maybe I’ll write on the loss of my second. There’s some drama there. But I’m not ready to yet.

Karl is the third brother and Loren is the fourth. What a gift it’s been for me to be the little sister in a family of boys. I’ve always had a big brother to protect me and help me fly straight. Seriously, how cool is that? Hopefully, I will always have a big brother in my life because, Lord knows, I need all the help I can get.

Coming together as a family, when experiencing the loss of someone you love dearly, strips away all of the superfluous like nothing else can. God gives us a unique opportunity to zero in on what really matters, what really counts, what really lasts. Family matters. Brothers matter.

There is no place for drama at a time like this. Or … at anytime, for that matter. Just a time to be real and to be loved.

Question:
How much drama do you have in your family? What can you do it send it packing?

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12 Responses to “No Time for Drama”

  1. I am so sorry for your loss and loved reading this. I thought our family had grown and connected beyond ‘drama’ until this summer when I had an incident with a family member that was beyond anything I could imagine possible. It scared my daughter to uncontrollable tears. I am struggling two months later as I do believe I have forgiven the person but also feel strongly that I am called to protect my family from such behavior. I wonder how others balance forgiveness, grace and love with the desire to protect ourselves and family members from unhealthy behavior.

  2. All the things you said your family isn’t, mine still is.

    Years ago I decided not to engage or further that kind of behavior, but it still falls all around me (and on me). So I try to avoid it with my extended family and am trying to create a different tradition with my own family.

    I especially loved your comment about “seeking to understand.” It’s not on Mr. Smalley’s list, but being understood is my love language. I never felt that my growing-up family was intentional about that, but working at it with my own children is one of my greatest joys.

    I’m glad to hear that even when things didn’t start out great, there’s still hope for things to change down the road. For some members of my family there’s probably not a lot of road left to cover, but I hope it doesn’t take much more loss for us to get to the kind of place your family has arrived.

    Thanks for sharing your family with us.

    Mary Hampton

  3. I think it starts with Love…we are commanded to Love. It is sometimes those causing the Drama that need our love the most. How do we balance…we Love like Christ. It’s a tough thing to do.

    I like the letter a little girl wrote to God…
    http://agentleanswer.blogspot.com/2010/01/commanded-to-love.html

    Thanks for the great post.

    Kathy at
    A Gentle Answer Ministries

  4. Thanks, Gail, for the taste of hope! As a mom trying to raise 5 kids, I look forward to the day when drama is at least less… with 3 girls, I’m not sure it will ever be NO drama ;-) I look forward to my kids being older and having much deeper friendships… Thanks for helping me see a light at the end of a long tunnel!

    -Beth

  5. I’m the oldest of 5 and can honestly say we don’t really have a lot of drama but we haven’t spent a lot of time breathing the same air in quite a while. We’re all over the country and busy, maybe too busy. We stay very connected electronically and by phone and are recently facing our aging parents health issues…which I imagine could be a source for drama if we let it be. I pray we don’t.

    I’m reminded of Phil 4:7 “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

  6. Gail: This is terrific. As you know, we have a very big family (like yours) with lots of opportunities for what you described…good and bad. Perhaps, as you’ve just experienced with Phil’s home-going, our Mother’s death was a fantastic chance for all of us to be together. And love on each other. And we love you, that’s for sure.

    • Hi Robert.

      Oh, how I wish I could have been a part of your mom’s home-going.

      I am so very grateful to have met her. I only wish I could have been around her more to soak up every bit of her kindness and wisdom.

      I know she was overflowing with joy watching the love shared among all the Wolgemuth clan as you gathered to celebrate her life and her legacy.

      No drama, I’m sure.

      Love to you all,
      Gail

  7. As one who experienced a rough childhood, I have had to work thru the drama to create a life of peace. Knowing that as God says: the Truth will set you Free! Each of us can add or difuse drama. It is a choice. As I am remind myself and another sibling, in order to get different results, you have to do something different. Thanks for the reflective post.

  8. I want to FORWARD this article not just to myself, for future reference, but for everyone else in my family who feels this way and contributes to the drama. We are all equally guilty at times.
    Thank you. Loved it!

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